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Millions of people enjoy having pets as part of their lives. They bring us joy, companionship, unconditional love. For many, the cat or dog is a member of the family. And it has been proven time and again that a pet helps people who live alone to feel needed and less lonely.
But there is a downside to this loving and special relationship: when it’s time to say goodbye. Sometimes, it is the result of a decision you, the pet owner, has had to make based on the failing health of your beloved animal. And although the decision is usually made out of compassion and respect, there can be lingering feelings of doubt. Or, if the goodbye is the result of an accident, there are often feelings of guilt. But even if the pet is old and passes away gently in its sleep, there is tremendous grief for the family who had enjoyed the pet’s company.
So, how do you cope? To begin, allow yourself to grieve. Too often, people hide their grief because they think others will look at them funny as if to say "it was only a pet". Most pets are part of the family fabric for years upon years so their absence will be missed. If possible, surround yourself with people who understand your loss.
Do what you feel is right when it comes to the body. There are many options including allowing your veterinarian to take care of disposal, donation to a veterinary school, burial or cremation. Each person has a different way of taking care of his or her pet in this last act. You will deal with the loss better if you do what you think is best.
Honor your pet’s place in the family. Do what you do when a person dies: tell funny stories about them, talk about what you’re going to miss. In other words, take a moment to celebrate the life of your pet and honor the love he or she gave you and your family.
Only bring a new pet into the house if you feel ready for the responsibility again. Some people will adopt a new pet within weeks of losing one. Others will wait months or years. There is no hard and fast rule. However, be sure that you are ready to love the new pet for all its individual characteristics.
If you are alone and you’ve just lost your closest companion, seek support. If your vet doesn’t know of any, most animal shelters have grief counseling or can put you in touch with a group. To people who don’t have pets, this can sound silly but it is an important service to single people, especially seniors. It’s helpful to talk to people who know what you are experiencing and will appreciate your sadness.
Although pets are not people, in this sad circumstance, they need to be treated as such. The love and comfort pets bring to families and individuals are real and significant. The loss of that love and comfort can leave quite a big void in a person’s life. To try to sweep the grief aside will only make it worse. You loved your pet. You’re allowed to miss him or her.
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